All Of My Ghosts

by The Bollands

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released March 20, 2018




The Bollands New Zealand

The Bollands are an indie-folk band from New Zealand. Constantly on the road, their mission is to enjoy all the good things in life through through music, stories and good friends.

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Track Name: Crosshairs
Kiss me and hold me and
tell me you won’t leave me,
tell me you won’t leave me tonight

I’ve got the world on my shoulders,
and I can’t seem to shake it,
I can’t seem to shake it tonight

And all of those dreams
we had in the beginning,
had in the beginning,
have died

I was trying to be strong for you,
trying to belong with you,
trying to be good but I lied

So we just wait here,
We lie in the crosshairs,
lie in the crosshairs of life

Can’t believe that it’s over,
I’m trying to be bolder,
trying to be older but I lie

I’m scared of the change,
scared of the pain,
we’re dying and I’m trying to be strong

It’s not that I’m unthankful
of what we have been through
it’s just that nothing goes on.
Track Name: All Of My Ghosts
Music in the lounge
Music in the lounge
I would lie in my bed
It was usually Edith Piaf

I can hear them laugh
I can hear them dance
Clinks of a whisky glass
We pray out to the stars

All of my ghosts

Music in the lounge
It gets turned up loud
laughs turn in to shouts
Screams and thumps and howls

I would pray out to the stars
To take me far away
So I would not be scared
Of the sound that left me scarred

All of my ghosts
All of my ghosts - they come back to me when I try to sleep
All of my ghosts - I try too escape every room I sleep in
All of my ghosts – But there were no stars to take from this dark

All of your ghosts – In those dark nights do you blame yourself
All of your ghosts – Is it your own guilt that drives you mad
All of your ghosts – But it is your own guilt that makes you mad
All of your ghosts – you burdens yours I can not help with that

Guilty- Aint never gonna leave me
At night – I can never seem to fight it
Let go – is what they tell you to do but they
Don’t know – how much I like to hold it as a
Trophy – to show that I was wronged
Guilty – just another way to get away
Track Name: Guilty
Nobody saw me out on that range
But I was guilty
Nobody saw me heading into town
But I was guilty
Nobody saw me outside that house
But they say they saw you outside that house
But I was guilty
They gave you forty years
And I was guilty
Track Name: Colourful Story
Is that the story you tell everyone?
Is that the lie you bare
It might hold you out for a little while longer

But remember I was there

Scream and shout to protect your cover
Start to believe your own lies
But sooner or later truth finds a surface
I can see its in your eyes

What a colorful story
What a colorful mind

Aint enough to be nothing

God only knows how deep this goes
You don’t know me but you presume too
How much grace can I give to you
Before I am through
Track Name: I Used To Sleepwalk
Drive all night & play all day
Kings of the USA
Eating from a single pot
Sleeping next to the lake
We were lost oh we were lost
And everything was fine

Way out in that wilderness
I lost my mind

Out there under midnight stars
I fall to my knees
Everything I want to be
In darkness means nothing

It feels ok to die
Under these old stars
When our bodies turn to dust
Another story starts

We were burning slowly
In the night, in the night
We were burning slowly
With the fire, with the fire

When we first parked by the lake
It took me ages to unbind
Everything I wanted to become
Had got me hypnotized

We cooked and ate with the fire
We listened to friend’s songs
And in the morn we brew some coffee
and read all day long
and talk all day long
and wait all day long

start to feel
the dark

In my life
And my death
It’s all OK
At my last breath

I used to sleep walk in the
Middle of the night,
I’s tryna escape
From a devil inside

One night I wake up
All covered in my blood
I punch through a window
Just to get outside

But in this old country
It was coming from the trees
Returning to the earth
Was a death and healing

It aint no preacher and
it aint no saint
Just a broken fool
Sleeping next to a lake
Track Name: Sometimes A Soul
Caught me out again my lover
Poured away the rent
I can not find a good
reason for the way I am
Trying to live a life where you would see
I was a that proud man
and you would know
I was free

When the man comes for me
I won't be on my knees When the
light burns low I knew where I'll go
Sometimes a soul can find no peace

Again I hear them hounds gather
All my minds gone flesh and anger
I forgot who was trying to be

I can feel the call of gallows
I can see them all
prepare the ropes
It's a better call
for a man like me

I swear my dear I never
meant to leave you but I've grown too weary
fighting off what's always been
inside of me

When the man comes for me
I won't be on my knees When the
light burns low I knew where I'll go
Lover let me go
I've been lost for so long
Sometimes a soul can find no peace

Come on love, won't you find love
You’ll find love in the pain
Track Name: Crescendo
I was lost and but you were found I think that’s why you left me
Although it could be my neglect of every one of your needs

But selfishness did me pretty well right up to today
I never had to do much to get a big steak on my plate

I was never one for loyalty, danger and them bible fruits
But now that you left me Im gonna clean up good and true
I Oiled my hair I brushed my teeth I even shaved my beard
I'm gonna wonder into to town to look for work out there

I want my life to finish in a Crescendo not wither into dust
I want to show you what I’m made of cause I think you don’t think it's much

Time will tell if I prove to you that I’m not a lecher and a waste
So far I have shaved off my beard and that is a pretty solid case

On my way in to town I ran into a few of road -blocks
I had to go to a bar to see a man about a dog
I ended up with a few too much, I’m Jail cell tonight
So darling if you have some spare cash you could help me out of this bind

But my time in here’s got me thinking I could be a musician
It looks like a pretty easy job and the drinks just keep coming
I can sing quite high I can sing quite low but not as low as Johnny Cash
But that’s ok cause an average Joe don’t t know a good song from a bad

Some people like to work damn hard some people like to lay in late
We both know which one i've been but I can assure you that’s gonna change
I just picked up an old guitar and ill play it every day
Ill get some whisky to help me with the lyrics and I’ll be on my way
Track Name: Stare Into Space
No point in being scared of what we cannot choose
This world is an oyster not a parachute

You do what you want and please yourself
I’ll do what I want and choose something else

I eat spicy food cause it makes me feel good
Ma La hot pot is my favorite food

I like to binge watch my TV shows
My favorite ones, are on HBO

And you saw me cry

Sometimes people ask me where I’m really from
But I don’t care where anybody’s from

I’m not sure why we can’t just be our selves
Waste so much time being someone else

These days it’s not hard to have a simple life
It starts by staying out of other people’s lives

If we want kids then that’s our own choice
It’s nobody business cause we do it by ourselves


Being on the road you carry a lot of stuff
We have limited clothes and three pairs of socks

But we get to meet a lot of great people
There are more good people than bad people

Sometimes I get down, and I don’t know why
I had a good childhood and I have a good life

When I feel like that I need some space
I lie in my bed and stare into space

I can’t stand the way some drunk guys stare
They stare you up and down like you’re not really there

Sometimes I just want to punch them in the face
But in this day and age that’s out of place
Track Name: Switch The Guns
It’s boiling in my melanin
It rolls me to my grave
Every day I read about end times
It always seems to change

North Korea tests nuclear bombs
And I buy up all the spades
I dig a hole to hide in
In case a bomb drops on this place

We switch the guns again, switch the guns again, switch the guns again yeah

We are all just refuges
Tent pegs in halfway
All just trying to find a place
That’s safe and far away

We are all just cannibals
Chewing through the land
Eating all that we can get
In case the world gets out of hand

Drive me up the wall with news
There’s someone trying to kill me
Just a circle to make some quick cash
That’s why it’s why I can’t be free
Track Name: Wrong Man For The Job
Cant take all back child, can't take it all back child, cant take it all back once it’s done
When you said that you’re leaving, we started grieving, we started grieving that you’re lost
You don’t know what it’s like, to be be out in the fight, to be without family or a home
You’ll lose your faith, then you’ll lose our grace, and you’ll be lost like the others and gone

And you thought I, was stronger in all those fights, it wasn't true, it was always to please you
And I don't want to be be, a martyr of what I don't believe. I was never called, I just needed healing.

I can no longer sleep, no longer sleep, I’ve been having these dreams about home
It’s all coming unglued, it’s all coming unglued, I can no longer believe your good news
So I say good-bye to this family, this life, let the bottom fall out of my home
If your door closes on me, if your back is turned to me, then maybe you weren’t family at all
Track Name: Feilding
Old George Straughn was 95 He got buried down in Feilding
He was a preacher in the Solomans for over 40 years he lived there
He wrote a book about revival and he preached in the town square
I would wag school cause my life was fucked up and he would read to me his bible

He would feed me food and talk to me, and his wife was really lovely
He found me jobs doing gardens for old people in the community
He was nice to me, he was nice to me, just a broken lost kid in Feilding
He wore a brown suit and he was half deaf, and he taught us Bible on Tuesday.

I would wag school every other day cause I couldn’t handle people
I was burnt at home, I was burnt at school, It was burning in my temple
I’d walk for hours in country roads with nirvana playing in my headphones.
Kurt Cobain was as angry as me and screamed it in a way that helped me let go.

Then I ended up in a Christian cult, I was there for nearly five years.
My best friend Regan who I worked with there started having daylight nightmares
He was a real good guy, he was a loyal friend, he was there like me for a family
Then his mind stated playing tricks on his eyes and he would hide down in the basement

He ended up in the hospital and no leaders from the cult would visit
His eyes were blazing and his mind was lost it was so sad to see him suffering
And when he got better all the cult leaders tried to welcome him back to work there
But he knew better, he left there, now he lives down close to Feilding
Track Name: And Hold
My lover, my lover, here by me
One last sit, one last kiss, here with me

To go now, I know now, all is gone
I know you, I know you, must move on (G)

And hold, yeah hold, yeah hold

Sweet letters, of jungles and how you are
Been waiting, been waiting, for a green car

And fold flags, raise up hands, to your salute
Its not you, Its not right, I'll wait for you