All Of My Ghosts

by The Bollands

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Crosshairs 03:34
Kiss me and hold me and tell me you won’t leave me, tell me you won’t leave me tonight I’ve got the world on my shoulders, and I can’t seem to shake it, I can’t seem to shake it tonight And all of those dreams we had in the beginning, had in the beginning, have died I was trying to be strong for you, trying to belong with you, trying to be good but I lied So we just wait here, We lie in the crosshairs, lie in the crosshairs of life Can’t believe that it’s over, I’m trying to be bolder, trying to be older but I lie I’m scared of the change, scared of the pain, we’re dying and I’m trying to be strong It’s not that I’m unthankful of what we have been through it’s just that nothing goes on.
Music in the lounge Music in the lounge I would lie in my bed It was usually Edith Piaf I can hear them laugh I can hear them dance Clinks of a whisky glass We pray out to the stars All of my ghosts Music in the lounge It gets turned up loud laughs turn in to shouts Screams and thumps and howls I would pray out to the stars To take me far away So I would not be scared Of the sound that left me scarred All of my ghosts All of my ghosts - they come back to me when I try to sleep All of my ghosts - I try too escape every room I sleep in All of my ghosts – But there were no stars to take from this dark All of your ghosts – In those dark nights do you blame yourself All of your ghosts – Is it your own guilt that drives you mad All of your ghosts – But it is your own guilt that makes you mad All of your ghosts – you burdens yours I can not help with that Guilty- Aint never gonna leave me At night – I can never seem to fight it Let go – is what they tell you to do but they Don’t know – how much I like to hold it as a Trophy – to show that I was wronged Guilty – just another way to get away
Guilty 02:22
Nobody saw me out on that range But I was guilty Nobody saw me heading into town But I was guilty Nobody saw me outside that house But they say they saw you outside that house But I was guilty They gave you forty years And I was guilty
Is that the story you tell everyone? Is that the lie you bare It might hold you out for a little while longer But remember I was there Scream and shout to protect your cover Start to believe your own lies But sooner or later truth finds a surface I can see its in your eyes What a colorful story What a colorful mind Aint enough to be nothing God only knows how deep this goes You don’t know me but you presume too How much grace can I give to you Before I am through
Drive all night & play all day Kings of the USA Eating from a single pot Sleeping next to the lake We were lost oh we were lost And everything was fine Way out in that wilderness I lost my mind Out there under midnight stars I fall to my knees Everything I want to be In darkness means nothing It feels ok to die Under these old stars When our bodies turn to dust Another story starts We were burning slowly In the night, in the night We were burning slowly With the fire, with the fire When we first parked by the lake It took me ages to unbind Everything I wanted to become Had got me hypnotized We cooked and ate with the fire We listened to friend’s songs And in the morn we brew some coffee and read all day long and talk all day long and wait all day long start to feel the dark In my life And my death It’s all OK At my last breath I used to sleep walk in the Middle of the night, I’s tryna escape From a devil inside One night I wake up All covered in my blood I punch through a window Just to get outside But in this old country It was coming from the trees Returning to the earth Was a death and healing It aint no preacher and it aint no saint Just a broken fool Sleeping next to a lake
Caught me out again my lover Poured away the rent I can not find a good reason for the way I am Trying to live a life where you would see I was a that proud man and you would know I was free When the man comes for me I won't be on my knees When the light burns low I knew where I'll go Sometimes a soul can find no peace Again I hear them hounds gather All my minds gone flesh and anger I forgot who was trying to be I can feel the call of gallows I can see them all prepare the ropes It's a better call for a man like me I swear my dear I never meant to leave you but I've grown too weary fighting off what's always been inside of me When the man comes for me I won't be on my knees When the light burns low I knew where I'll go Lover let me go I've been lost for so long Sometimes a soul can find no peace Come on love, won't you find love You’ll find love in the pain
Crescendo 04:38
I was lost and but you were found I think that’s why you left me Although it could be my neglect of every one of your needs But selfishness did me pretty well right up to today I never had to do much to get a big steak on my plate I was never one for loyalty, danger and them bible fruits But now that you left me Im gonna clean up good and true I Oiled my hair I brushed my teeth I even shaved my beard I'm gonna wonder into to town to look for work out there I want my life to finish in a Crescendo not wither into dust I want to show you what I’m made of cause I think you don’t think it's much Time will tell if I prove to you that I’m not a lecher and a waste So far I have shaved off my beard and that is a pretty solid case On my way in to town I ran into a few of road -blocks I had to go to a bar to see a man about a dog I ended up with a few too much, I’m Jail cell tonight So darling if you have some spare cash you could help me out of this bind But my time in here’s got me thinking I could be a musician It looks like a pretty easy job and the drinks just keep coming I can sing quite high I can sing quite low but not as low as Johnny Cash But that’s ok cause an average Joe don’t t know a good song from a bad Some people like to work damn hard some people like to lay in late We both know which one i've been but I can assure you that’s gonna change I just picked up an old guitar and ill play it every day Ill get some whisky to help me with the lyrics and I’ll be on my way
No point in being scared of what we cannot choose This world is an oyster not a parachute You do what you want and please yourself I’ll do what I want and choose something else I eat spicy food cause it makes me feel good Ma La hot pot is my favorite food I like to binge watch my TV shows My favorite ones, are on HBO And you saw me cry Sometimes people ask me where I’m really from But I don’t care where anybody’s from I’m not sure why we can’t just be our selves Waste so much time being someone else These days it’s not hard to have a simple life It starts by staying out of other people’s lives If we want kids then that’s our own choice It’s nobody business cause we do it by ourselves Chorus Being on the road you carry a lot of stuff We have limited clothes and three pairs of socks But we get to meet a lot of great people There are more good people than bad people Sometimes I get down, and I don’t know why I had a good childhood and I have a good life When I feel like that I need some space I lie in my bed and stare into space I can’t stand the way some drunk guys stare They stare you up and down like you’re not really there Sometimes I just want to punch them in the face But in this day and age that’s out of place
It’s boiling in my melanin It rolls me to my grave Every day I read about end times It always seems to change North Korea tests nuclear bombs And I buy up all the spades I dig a hole to hide in In case a bomb drops on this place We switch the guns again, switch the guns again, switch the guns again yeah We are all just refuges Tent pegs in halfway All just trying to find a place That’s safe and far away We are all just cannibals Chewing through the land Eating all that we can get In case the world gets out of hand Drive me up the wall with news There’s someone trying to kill me Just a circle to make some quick cash That’s why it’s why I can’t be free
Cant take all back child, can't take it all back child, cant take it all back once it’s done When you said that you’re leaving, we started grieving, we started grieving that you’re lost You don’t know what it’s like, to be be out in the fight, to be without family or a home You’ll lose your faith, then you’ll lose our grace, and you’ll be lost like the others and gone And you thought I, was stronger in all those fights, it wasn't true, it was always to please you And I don't want to be be, a martyr of what I don't believe. I was never called, I just needed healing. I can no longer sleep, no longer sleep, I’ve been having these dreams about home It’s all coming unglued, it’s all coming unglued, I can no longer believe your good news So I say good-bye to this family, this life, let the bottom fall out of my home If your door closes on me, if your back is turned to me, then maybe you weren’t family at all
Feilding 04:18
Old George Straughn was 95 He got buried down in Feilding He was a preacher in the Solomans for over 40 years he lived there He wrote a book about revival and he preached in the town square I would wag school cause my life was fucked up and he would read to me his bible He would feed me food and talk to me, and his wife was really lovely He found me jobs doing gardens for old people in the community He was nice to me, he was nice to me, just a broken lost kid in Feilding He wore a brown suit and he was half deaf, and he taught us Bible on Tuesday. I would wag school every other day cause I couldn’t handle people I was burnt at home, I was burnt at school, It was burning in my temple I’d walk for hours in country roads with nirvana playing in my headphones. Kurt Cobain was as angry as me and screamed it in a way that helped me let go. Then I ended up in a Christian cult, I was there for nearly five years. My best friend Regan who I worked with there started having daylight nightmares He was a real good guy, he was a loyal friend, he was there like me for a family Then his mind stated playing tricks on his eyes and he would hide down in the basement He ended up in the hospital and no leaders from the cult would visit His eyes were blazing and his mind was lost it was so sad to see him suffering And when he got better all the cult leaders tried to welcome him back to work there But he knew better, he left there, now he lives down close to Feilding
And Hold 02:59
My lover, my lover, here by me One last sit, one last kiss, here with me To go now, I know now, all is gone I know you, I know you, must move on (G) And hold, yeah hold, yeah hold Sweet letters, of jungles and how you are Been waiting, been waiting, for a green car And fold flags, raise up hands, to your salute Its not you, Its not right, I'll wait for you


released March 20, 2018




The Bollands New Zealand

The Bollands are an indie-folk band from New Zealand. Constantly on the road, their mission is to enjoy all the good things in life through through music, stories and good friends.

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